I’m Falling in Love With my Submissive | What Should I Do?

submissive love

It’s not uncommon to develop feelings and have Submissive love. After all, you spend a lot of time with them and you have a special bond.  You may admire their strength, their vulnerability, or their obedience. But what do you do if you find yourself falling in love with your submissive?

The first thing you need to decide is whether or not you should tell them how you feel. If you think they might reciprocate your feelings, then it might be worth telling them. However, if you’re not sure how they would feel or if they might not be ready for a committed relationship, then it might be best to keep your feelings to yourself for now. We will have to wait to experience the feeling of being submissive in a relationship with us for an appropriate time. Today, I will tell you what you can do if you find yourself falling in love with your submissive and how to approach different scenarios. 

Submissive Love? Time for Reasoning and Compliments

Submissive Love Time for Reasoning and Compliments

Submissive love always encumbers with a lot of devotion. They feel happy doing our chores and following orders. A day-long activity of following instructions is usually curtailed with you complimenting them. This complement is usually followed by a series of humiliations. The submissive love only grows when such events play out over and over. Sounds familiar right?  

Now, to talk about some other ongoing practicalities that must be taken note of. I think this probably holds for all submissives in a relationship. The aspect of being submissive in a relationship is something I understood a few years back. This was the time when I started to have feelings beyond submissive love restricted to sessions of play. They might enjoy the temporary fleeting role. I remember a partner who always showed deep signs of submissive love, said to me. “I don’t love you, I love the way we have sex.” This might be the theme, for a lot of submissives in relationships temporarily with their dominants.   

When they are probably searching over the internet, how to be submissive? There is the possibility they are just longing to realize their desire. 

Submissive in a Relationship

Submissive in a Relationship

The underlying working component, I started with, is my pursuit of submissive love. This process is not that out of the box. Pay attention, while the submissive is at their trying best on how to be submissive. Understand their desires, and see what they find sexy. For many submissive, dominant love is when we tie them up and they can place their entire trust in us. I duly believe we also probably need to understand if we are in love with the affection of submissive love. Or do we want to be submissive in a relationship? Well, you can play some domination games in bed and decide who is better with what.

Take actions slowly out of sessions of play. For some, the usual chocolates and roses work just as fine. For others buying sex toys together, and being out and about in the public. Showing appreciation of submissive love can push a bit of a step forward toward you being submissive in a relationship. Writing names on sex toys is also very cute by the way. I got a lot of submissive love doing that, let’s just say.

What Would Happen If Things Didn’t Work Out?

What Would Happen If Things Didn't Work Out

Another thing to consider is what would happen if things didn’t work out between the two of you. If you’re just starting your relationship, then it’s probably not a big deal. However, if you’ve been together for a while, then it could be more difficult. Make sure you’re prepared for the possibility that things might not work out before you take the plunge and tell them how you feel. 

At the cost of repeating myself, I am writing this again. There is no point in losing the entire submissive love while chasing to be with them in a relationship. There is every possibility your submissive is not the person you may want to be with.  Much like everything else in the world, there needs to be a perspective when affections don’t go our way.  

The Balance of Power

The Balance of Power

The balance of power is an inherent point of conversation in the universe of BDSM. Where do the boundaries lie and do the boundaries start? 

You need to consider your submissive partner’s feelings. Despite all their submissive love for you, they may not be ready for a romantic relationship. They may not be interested in you that way. It’s important to respect their wishes and boundaries. If you’re unsure about what they’re thinking, have a conversation with them about it. Many submissives are happy to talk about their feelings and desires with their Dominant. Conversations can help in creating a better picture of where both of you are at. Is the idea of being submissive in relationship interests at all at the table? 

Finally, you need to think about what this would mean for your dynamic. Would it change the balance of power between you? Would it make things more difficult? If you’re not sure, it might be best to err on the side of caution and keep your feelings to yourself for now. If your partner is new and is busy trying out ways to be a good submissive, the aspect of manipulation comes into play. Inexperience combined with the inherent power dynamic is a breeding ground for manipulation. Don’t be that person. Do you want to be submissive in a relationship with your dominant partner through that means? Such beginnings always end up with poetic justice anyway. 

The Bottom Line | What to Do? 

If you find yourself falling in love with your submissive, there are a few things you need to consider before acting on those feelings. First, remember that a Dominant/submissive relationship is not the same as a traditional romantic one. Second, think about your submissive’s feelings and make sure you respect their wishes and boundaries. 

Submissive love doesn’t imply you end up dehumanizing the partner. And finally, think about what this would mean for your dynamic and whether or not it would change the balance of power between you two. And, also think if such changes and hypotheticals are worth hedging your bet for. That is what you are willing to risk for a chance to be submissive in a relationship. If you’re unsure about any of these things, it might be best to keep your feelings to yourself for now and revisit the issue at a later date.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q1. What is submissive love, and how is it different from other forms of love?

Submissive love is a romantic or emotional attachment characterized by one person willingly yielding or surrendering control, authority, or power to their partner. It’s a consensual power dynamic within a relationship where one person takes on a submissive role, while the other adopts a dominant role. Unlike other forms of love, such as platonic or familial love, submissive love often involves structured roles and power exchange dynamics.

Q2. Is submissive love always about BDSM or kink?

While submissive love can be a part of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) relationships, it doesn’t have to involve explicit kink or fetish activities. Submissive love can manifest in various forms, from mild power dynamics to more intense BDSM practices. It’s important to establish boundaries and consent in any submissive relationship to ensure the comfort and safety of all parties involved.

Q3. Are people in submissive relationships passive or weak?

No, being in a submissive relationship doesn’t imply passivity or weakness. In a consensual submissive love dynamic, the submissive partner willingly surrenders control as an expression of love, trust, and desire. It’s an active choice, and both partners should communicate openly and establish boundaries. Submissives are strong individuals who often display immense strength in their willingness to be vulnerable and trust their dominant partners.

Q4. How can one ensure a healthy and respectful submissive love relationship?

To maintain a healthy and respectful submissive love relationship, open communication and mutual consent are key. Partners should establish clear boundaries, discuss desires and limits, and prioritize each other’s emotional and physical well-being. Consent should be enthusiastic, informed, and ongoing. Regular check-ins and aftercare (emotional and physical support) are important to ensure the relationship remains safe and satisfying for both parties.

Q5. Can anyone engage in a submissive love relationship, or is it only for a specific type of person?

Submissive love is a personal choice, and it can be experienced by people of all genders and sexual orientations. It’s important for individuals to explore their desires and boundaries and find a partner who shares compatible interests and preferences. What’s crucial is that any submissive relationship should be based on consent, respect, and communication.

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